Okay, we are already half way through the month of March and I entirely missed the month of February. Oh well, not much I can do about that.
By the time the end of this month rolls around, 2014 will be one-fourth completed. It is sometimes amazing to me how fast time can go by As of this moment, I have no idea how the rest of this year is going to go. There are exciting things on the way. Our daughter, Carrie, and her husband, Drew, will be bringing another grandson into our lives in May if not before. Few things in this life we live on earth bring more joy than grandchildren. It's a hard thing to explain even after having experienced it. It looks as though our son, Isaac, and his wife, Ricci, will be making some big life changes again this year as he pursues his graduate degree. Beyond that, I'm not sure what the year will bring and don't even want to speculate. Maybe that's the point - not always knowing what is around the next corner.
I am one of those people who can lay in bed at night and think of volumes of things to write on this blog and then sits down in front of the computer and leaves without typing a word. All of the "seemingly profound thoughts and revelations" that I come up with kind of disappear into the air when they try to move from my mind to the screen.
One thing I do know, I'm ready for a new direction. Don't get me wrong, there are areas of my life that I wouldn't change for the world. However, lately I've felt kind of stuck. I know that a person cannot go back and change the past. That would probably be a bad idea anyway because there is always the potential I could make it worse. The problem seems to be letting go of it so that I'm not dragging it into the future. I've prayed about it, talked about it, gotten mad, sad and about everything else that goes along with it. I've felt guilty for not having enough faith, not being spiritual enough, not claiming the victory not giving up control. I've forgiven myself for and accused myself of not handling things right almost within the time frame of the blink of an eye. Many nights I've even wondered if I'm a Christian anymore or if I ever was. Then I wonder why I wonder and if anyone else wonders these things, too....
Like I said, I have no idea what this year will bring for any of us but I'm ready for something new and good for all of us.
Pray for me. I'll pray for you. (Yeah...I still believe this stuff.)
