Contemplation

It is always interesting to me to search google images with a single word and see exactly what comes up. As the title suggests, I typed in "contemplation" and got quite a wide range of pictures, but this one was toward the beginning and I kind of liked it, so here it is.

I have been contemplating several things over the last few weeks and I'm sure everyone who stops by here from time to time is sick of my "road to relaxation" picture, so here it goes in totally random order.

Politics: It comes as no surprise to anyone that this subject has been on the news just a little bit lately. Now, I really don't consider myself affiliated with any particular party and I can say that I agree with a few things in both camps but not a lot of things in either. I have begun to wonder how to line up the whole mess with those things that I hold most important in regard to my beliefs as a Christian.

I do believe, without doubt, that the only hope I can completely put my trust in for this life and the life after this, is the hope that Christ gives. I cannot believe that any one person (or party) can set things right. God has been about the business of trying to reconcile us back to Himself ever since that nasty incident in the garden many, many years ago. As far as I can see, He has the only plan that is going to set this world right and I may or may not ever see it fulfilled in my lifetime on this earth, but trust I will see it all unfold in the next. That being said, I do believe it is each of our responsibility to do what we can to line up our attitudes, the way that we live our lives and how we treat others with the example He gave us when He sent Christ down to earth.

Then of course, there is the other issue of country first. Now, at the risk of being considered unpatriotic, I have to say that God is really abundantly clear that He is to be first in our lives. I don't think there is any place where I have read that He gives exception to that. However, on the contrary, He gives lots of examples of what happens when we move Him on down the list. It gets pretty ugly. What keeps coming to my mind is when Jesus is asked, in my humble paraphrase, to let people know what commands are the most important in this life. He simply puts it to love God with all your heart, soul and mind and to love others as yourself. So again, I have sleepless nights and wonder, how do our country's politics line up with that and what should our role as Christians be? What does it mean to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us? What does it mean to not be prideful? What does it mean to take care of the poor and the outcasts? What does it mean to put Christ first? By the way, if you have some simple answers to these complex questions...you scare me.

School: I started back to school in July and am on my second class of four this semester. I actually should be done in the spring of 2010 and can graduate at the same time as Isaac (although hopefully not on the same weekend)! I had to take a temperament test tonight and mine came out as the "idealist". Now, given my recent history, this made me smile because I would have not described myself that way, but I hope at some point it holds true. It tells me that I want to help people grow and fulfill their potential, which would make me happy. I do enjoy teaching, which was one of the items it mentioned, so that would seem to line up. Hopefully, someday, I will be helping someone fulfill another potential other than making a pizza! I guess time will tell....

Home: The past several months, I (as well as Dan, I believe) have been quite homesick. For me, it is somewhat odd, because once you move away from your hometown, you associate home with where you grew up. I believe it is in the movie Garden State when the main character says it is a strange feeling when you realize the house you grew up in isn't home anymore. The homesick feeling seems to have subsided and that feels good. I think I will stop with this here.

So, back to the beginning, "contemplation". Sometimes I don't think we wrestle with ideas and question things enough. I know I have been guilty of this. Asking ourselves tough questions - you know, the ones without answers, is hard. But, I guess it is in the questioning that we can really learn about ourselves and what is important us. I know that Dan is important to me and makes my world a better place. Without him, the void in my life would be immense. Loving him and being loved by him brings me peace. I know how blessed I am to have children like Carrie and Isaac who question things and want to realize their own potential as well as change the world around them. Their happiness makes me happy. There are friends, past and present that have had a great impact on my life and for them, I am thankful. More and more I have been thinking about what it really means to be a Christian and how my life should be different because of that fact. Yes, contemplation is a good thing.

Until the next time, keep the hope alive -
JAH

Road to Relaxation

When I typed in the word "relaxation" in google images, this picture came up entitled "Road to Relaxation". I liked it, so here it is.

In case you were all wondering why I would do a search on this topic, my class session has come to a close tonight and I am pretty happy about that. The last five weeks have been a little bit more hectic in the school department because I was taking two classes. Now I know that taking two classes really doesn't sound like all that much, but when you are in a program that crams a three hour college course into five weeks - doubling that is well, crazy stuff. Why would I do that? Because last session my wonderful husband Dan and I were celebrating 25 years of marriage in a wonderful place that was incredibly beautiful (and wonderful) and relaxing and I wasn't about to ruin or interfere with our time together by worrying about homework. That would have seemed really crazy!

So, back to my classes. The one I had on Tuesday evenings was in Organizational Behavior. This class was incredibly interesting and I felt like it had so many applications to life that even if I never use it on some professional level, it was worth the time because it had good, personal relevance. Unless a person lives under a rock, which although tempting at times is not very practical or comfortable, we all have to deal with groups of people. It is interesting how many principles apply whether you are talking about work groups, church groups, family groups or whatever group you belong to. Our teacher is actually a full-time instructor at the Pendleton Correctional Facility and he had great illustrations for our topics. I am hoping to get an "A" in the class, but the final was pretty tough and I had an eight page paper to turn in about the communication process where I work. I probably could have written a book - but that is another story that will probably not be told until I work somewhere else. Dan and I were able to have some really good discussions on leadership and group dynamics which made it even more worthwhile to me.

Then there was marketing on Thursday nights. Although I'm sure this subject matter is interesting and could even be fun, I really didn't like this class. I'm not going to use this cyber space to completely be negative about an instructor that so many people in the class seemed to like, but there you have it. I guess I just didn't connect very well to his style of teaching. I'll just leave it at that.

So, I have now completed six classes. The decision will need to be made about where to go from here. I like going to school in general, but my goals after completion of this degree are pretty hazy. It will probably not come as a huge shock to anyone that the prospect of working at a pizza place for the rest of my natural life is not really all that exciting to me. The problem is, I don't want to just get another job to replace this one, I want it to mean something...anything. Now don't get me wrong, I believe one can have a positive influence and even a definite purpose no matter where their particular job is located. I do believe that everything we do should be done "as unto the Lord" or however that is worded. Right now, I'm not thinking the Lord is overly pleased with what I'm doing unto Him (no disrespect intended or implied). I actually do believe that I had somewhat of a purpose when I began working there --gulp--almost eight years ago. But, I'm just not feeling it anymore. Now don't get me wrong, I believe we are witnesses wherever we go, but being a negative one probably wasn't the whole idea. When I began there I actually felt like I stood for something - now I feel like just another employee who is critical and impatient. I don't like myself too much in this regard and sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and wonder who slipped a lemon into my mouth when I wasn't looking.

So, I ask myself if I could do anything...yeah that great question...what would I do? I think the thing I enjoy most is teaching. My only experience with it has been more in a church setting, but I really do like it. I don't know that one has to have the title "teacher" to teach, but if I could somehow have that role, I would like that. There, all of this rambling in my mind and on this blog and it has finally come out. I still have no idea what to do with it, but it's out there.

Well, my mind is tired and I think I am done for today. I stayed up late last night working on a marketing plan that was a group project. It was supposed to be 25 pages long - five pages per person. Another classmate and I basically rewrote the whole thing yesterday and last night and today. I believe it was graded in less than five minutes. We did get an "A" but somehow it seemed like I should have at least gotten a sticker or something. Of course my five page, five essay question final was graded during my trip to the bathroom. I got an "A" on that, too, no sticker. The one saving thing of the night was that he actually read the marketing interview I did - thanks Joan - and said it was really good and the most unique one he had been given. I'm assuming I got an "A" on that, too, although he didn't give it back to me. Okay, I didn't just leave it at that. Such is life.

Keep that hope alive -
JAH

May 14, 1983

Here is a picture of a picture of the big day. I remember it rained that morning, but by the time of our wedding, the sun had come out and it was really quite nice. If I recall correctly, the ceremony started at 6:30 pm and probably lasted about 1/2 hour. It was all really quite simple by today's standards, but it worked out just fine for us. Twenty-five years later, we have a lot of great memories and have two great children as a result, too! I was 17 years old when Dan asked me to marry him - he was 18 - and 19 - he was 20 - when I was at the front of the church with him. The rest, as they say, is history... Thanks, dear for 25 years!

Vacation Thoughts

Some random thoughts I had on our vacation:
Day 2 - 4/10/08
The staff here is incredibly gracious.
The ocean water is the most beautiful blue.
Palm tress against a blue sky are absolutely soothing.
The sound of waves coming to shore is hypnotic.
Lounging on the beach next to Dan is just what I dreamed it would be.
It is simply beautiful here.
It is fun to hear so many different languages being spoken.

Day 4 - 4/12/08
Relaxing isn't always easy, but it is worth it.
Salmon, cream cheese and tomatoes on bread seems to be a breakfast food for many people.
Sometimes a person just really needs to sleep.
Learning another language would be a good thing.
Even though there is an abundance of food and drink all around, a person doesn't have to overeat...or over-drink.
Bob Marley music on the beach in the evening with the noise of the ocean in the background is something to be enjoyed.
I do not know where I am on a map and have no idea how to get anywhere from where I am. It is kinda strange.
The weather here seems to be beautiful everyday. Blue skies, nice breeze.
There are a lot of different people in this world. Put them around a pool and they all seem to get along and respect each other's stuff.
Dressing up for dinner is really kind of nice.

Day 6 - 4/14/08
I usually have no idea what time it is.
It is going to be very hard to go back to the routine of life. It will be strange not be with Dan all day long.
I am going to the spa at 11 am. That is the first scheduled time I have had for anything since the day we arrived.
Having your first cup of coffee outside under blues skies and palm trees makes it much more enjoyable - and you feel no need to gulp it down.
I do not want to back to work - but this is all the time I'll give that thought right now.
There is no traffic noise here. The only motorized sound you hear is the occasional weed trimmer.
I finished an entire book in two afternoons and plan to start another today.

I didn't write anything else down after this day, but I want to record for history that this way the best vacation we have ever had. Dan and I felt totally privileged and grateful that we were able to go to such a place. We actually left on our trip on what would have been my mom's 83rd birthday. She would have been really happy that we used some of the money we have because of her to do something like this. She always told me that we should take a trip because we will remember that long after we would remember a thing that we had bought. She was a very wise woman as I don't think I will ever forget it.

Staying hopeful -
Jah

A Friday

The countdown in my mind to vacation is definitely starting to be a loud voice in my head. Thirteen days from now, Dan and I should be laying on a beach or at least be able to see one from the pool. That is a very nice thought to me. It's been forever since we've had a real vacation and I am ready! Okay, I have that out of the way....

The other day, I ordered a beach bag from a company called Trade As One (thanks, Joan) and I have to say, I really like it. It is made from lime green rice bags and appears to be quite sturdy and just the right size. I am glad I went with the medium sized one, because from its size, the large one must also double as a sleeping bag in emergencies. It folds nice and flat so it won't take up much room in my suitcase, which is good. It would also seem to be quite water resistant - also good. The other thing I like about it as opposed to other big beach bags I've seen, is that it is lined, has pockets on the inside with zippers and the whole thing actually zips closed. I also have a feeling I won't mix it up with someone else's bag as it is quite unique. All of that, and the money actually helped to further someone's craft while supporting them financially. Good buy.

After my last post, I had been searching the internet for a place to buy some coffee for our church. I just wanted to buy a little to see how it tasted, etc. I was becoming quite discouraged that we were not going to be able to buy enough to make it cost effective due to the shipping prices, which were about as much as the coffee. I finally had the idea to go to a local co-op grocery store in Ft. Wayne and - yeah - they had it there. It is quite a cool place to go as well and their produce department makes the ones at some of the regular groceries look pretty bad. I also bought an onion, by the way, which was quite yummy in our omelet last night. Our son, Isaac, also informed me that you can buy fair trade coffee at Kroger as well, so I bought a little bag there to try. (It was a little cheaper, but the other place is, well, more interesting). I think supporting the local produce growers would be a good thing this summer and we actually have someone right down the road!

Last week Dan and I had an "interesting" experience at our usual Sunday night location. There were a couple of people in there who were more than just "under the influence" and the whole thing, although somewhat annoying, was really quite sad. The two people in question were really quite different from one another. One was a young man, late twenties who was giving the impression that he was quite successful in his work and quite popular with the ladies in the towns he traveled to. The other was a woman who was there with a person who appeared to be her husband. She was probably in her forties. Both of them were being quite loud and then they started in on each other. From a personal standpoint, I was getting quite uncomfortable with the whole situation and probably could have just left. There are many different angles to take in observing this event, but I'll just go with the one that really struck me. This woman's husband, or whatever he was, apologized, said she was an alcoholic and tried to get her to leave. She was not cooperating in any way and was finally asked to leave by the manager. The man with her never raised his voice or seemed to get angry. I watched them walk out the door with him holding her hand the whole way, talking quietly to her. Now, I have absolutely no idea where they came from or what their story was. But it seemed to me, there was someone who really cared about this woman, even with all her apparent problems. You just don't see that too much in situations like that. However, I think that is what is expected of all of us. You know, to care about each other even with all of our obvious flaws and problems. Not to condone everyone's actions, but to still care about the people. You know, "but for the grace of God, there goes me...." Maybe that's what I saw that night, grace in action.

Finally, another class is checked off my list and I am glad for that. Of course, the next one begins next week and I have a bunch of reading to do.

That's all for now...

JAH

Coffee Anyone??

Yesterday our Sunday School class took off on a slightly different path than we had been. Since teaching a class at our church, I've always seemed to have an interesting mix of people. We don't do the "age segregation" so the people can have a pretty wide range of life experiences from being a current college student to having grandchildren in college. Personally, I like it - having all of those different perspectives.

Anyway...our class had been using a service called The Wired Word which takes current news events and tries to discuss them from a Christian-Biblical perspective. I have to admit, some weeks they really had to reach to get a lesson, but they did it. Well, thanks to my friend Joan who is currently working at Sojourners, I found that they also had some "current events" studies that I could download for little of nothing and make copies of (I stay within the 10 copy limit). I have had this study sitting in my basket on the bookshelf for a long time and kept thinking it probably wouldn't work for my current class, but yet I kept looking at it so I went for it this past week. To sum up, it deals with the current issue of slavery in our world today and it went over better than I had expected. One woman in the class had actually read all of the articles and started several sentences with, "I never knew..." Now she does, along with a handful of other people, so this is progress to me.

One of the quotes we focused on in class was in an article entitled "A Soul On Fire":

I claim my own name and my place in society daily in confrontations with what I am prepared to live with and what I am not. My claim is implicit in my ability to say yes or no. It asks whose rules have power over me and whose do not.

Sometimes I think the problems in our world, although this is a big oversimplification, I'm sure, boil down to the fact that most of us have decided that we can live with more than we should. When I asked why, the woman who had read all of the articles made a great observation when she said, "because if we think we can't live with it, that means we have to do something and most of us don't want to do that". Bingo.

In trying to bring the class to a close and in trying to say, maybe we should do something, I suggested that we take on the project of buying Fair Trade Coffee for our church. I asked them not to answer but to think about it because this was going to require a commitment. They agreed and I am supposed to get the numbers together for them. Now I know we could do this, I just hope we do. I put it to them this way, we will not stop the problems in the coffee world by buying this for our church, but at least we can stop contributing to them. I also gave them some info about a great company called Divine Chocolate.

I'm not sure why this idea of Fair Trade has been on my mind - I'm quite certain the morphine from the previous week has worn off, etc., but I think I need to do something about it. Again, my friend Joan was the one who first pointed me in this direction and I had kind of just been looking down the path but not really moving that way. I'm not sure what will happen, but I think I'm learning to think a little differently. I am going to try to attempt to put a couple of links on my blog - one for the chocolate and a couple that are for other fair trade items. Yes, they are more expensive, but maybe we would all be better off with one fair trade purse than three from Walmart. I did actually buy a recycled beach bag today for our trip (the one I had did have holes in the bottom). I'll let you know how it turns out.

Well, I have successfully put off doing my homework for an hour, but I had better get to it.

Hoping to contribute to the good -
JAH

Time for A New Look

Today seemed like a day to try out a new look. This past week has been kind of a crazy one to say the least, so why not go all out and change up the format a little bit. I didn't realize how easy it was to make this change or I may have done it sooner, but I'm not a real "experimenter" when it comes to blogging.

For those of you who may not know, I got to have a surprise surgery this week. That's always a fun time - especially when the first ER visit takes place in another state when your daughter is sick in bed next to you and there has been a blizzard happening for the past several hours. I guess if a person is going to do something out of the ordinary - well - I guess I picked as good of a time as any.

I don't plan on going into all of the gory details of the past week's events, but let's just say, I've gone through labor and delivery with two children and this pain was worse. Given how long some people have problems and are sick with this type of thing, maybe it is just better to just get hit over the head with it at 3 am and then just get it all over with...maybe...I'm not sure on that one. I am thankful that my friend Robin was able to get me to the hospital and then get me home where Dan took over. I don't think anyone really knew what to do with me, but they were there and that was a good thing. Morphine became my temporary friend on Monday afternoon by giving me a bit of relief and a little bit of sleep. The doctors and nurses at the Bluffton Hospital were very nice and I have no complaints there. All went well and I got back home Wednesday night. It was funny during the night after my surgery I asked for some Tylenol and they said I couldn't have that, but I could have some more morphine if I wanted. I decline and waited until I was approved for Tylenol consumption Wednesday morning. Crazy.

Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that I was alive and well and very thankful for that and after thinking about it realizing that if this had to happen it all happened in a pretty good way, if that is possible. I just know I dealt with the 90 miles from Findlay to Yoder, but trying to get from Punta Cana to Detroit on a plane in that conditioned would not be an adventure I would ever care to take.

Thanks for the prayers and well wishes. Now all I can say for today is GO ILLINI!! :)

Peace to all -
JAH