What is life all about? Right now I feel like I have more questions than answers. I wonder why a little boy whose parents are on the mission field trying to do some good in the world had a freak accident and was killed. I wonder why a little one year old girl at our church has cystic fibrosis and now has a somewhat life-threatening infection. I wonder why my husband has an infection that won't go away and I think right now I'm a little scared about that. Then I wonder why so many people seem to be so concerned about other things that just really don't seem to matter much.
I think I am probably one of the worst bloggers that has attempted blogging. I guess I need to take more time and sit down and write things out. Maybe this would be a good way to have some good conversations with God and let Him know that I'm down here wondering about some things. I don't really think I'm questioning Him so much as far as He is God and all, but sometimes I just don't get the plan. Maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe the plan is more of a work in progress that changes and grows and dies and exists in ways that I can't comprehend. Maybe that's why we aren't supposed to worry about our tomorrows but just live each moment as it is given to us. I just don't want to waste moments. I look at our kids and wonder how they got to be adults. They are great adults in spite of me, but I don't want to miss the moments. I think of Dan and I celebrating 23 years of marriage and don't want to miss our moments. Being in love with someone is truly a gift. Having kids who are healthy and bright and full of potential is a gift. I guess those are things I should also wonder about. Why do I have those gifts? Why does God bless us in the ways that He does?
I guess life is a mystery and maybe that shouldn't be a scarey thing but a good thing. Why would I want to know the whole "plan". That would probably make me miss the moments as they happen.
It is tea time and hot chocolate time at our house. This is one of my favorite moments. (I keep on using that word - I hope it means what I think it means. )
Love Jesus and Do What You Want -
JAH
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