Not So Radical

Today I am not feeling like my hope is any too radical. True, I do have hope in this life and in the life to come, but it is definitely not a radical feeling. I guess one has to make choices and decisions and cannot go merely on feelings, but I think my emotional state is somewhat unstable at present and I'm not all together certain as to why. I am not saying I am in a bad emotional state - just emotional. I have never been one to cry easily - but lately, I think I could cry pretty easily. Things that make me happy make me want to cry. Things that make me sad - things that make me feel old..er. I don't really know how to describe it, but I guess I will just accept that one goes through times like these and maybe even that this kind of a time is a good thing.

Maybe it is Neil Young's fault. We've been watching his new DVD and it is somewhat nostalgic in nature - reflective. One thing I do realize is that I have a very blessed life. I have a great husband, great daughter, great son. I would not change that part of my life in anyway. I just want to gather them together and make definite mental images in my mind of all of our moments that we get to share. I want to be aware of my surroundings and take a snapshot as I know they may not ever be exactly like this again. It is not that I want time to stand still, because that is not a good thing, but I want to really start to take it all in and hold those little, cool things in my heart. Like sharing nachos with Dan and talking about what's going on. Like listening to each of the kids talk and realizing that they have become their own individual with ideas and plans.

I need to be more thankful for my life. I need to get more radical again in my hope for what God has in store for us...

JAH